Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize