No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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