I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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