So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
