I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
