I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
