Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
they're like a gay fantastic four
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
