Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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