i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
