made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
