using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
