I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize