i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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