Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
