i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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