Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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