If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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