Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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