did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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