His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
