It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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