Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
