Sry I called you an 8
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
