Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize