there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
