duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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