What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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