Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
