just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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