Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
