they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
where am i from again
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
