I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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