Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
