belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
