just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
