I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize