A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
