I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Randomize
