All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
