we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
