Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
