why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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