Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm passing your future prison.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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