drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
