I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
