You made me cry and you don't even care
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize