You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize