i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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