I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
