Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
