420 ftw
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
