I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
