True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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