I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
