Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
