we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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