I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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