"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
