2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
