he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
