ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
